i've a mind that's gone so blank
got the eyes that just can't see
a face that shows no pain or guilt
lips that won't open to lemme speak
a heart that pumps a random beat
nerves that craze to show me pain
i've got hands moving in a hazy fashion
got the feet dancing to a phantom tune
the lust for blood is rising in me
a prowling hunter it makes me be
i grunt and swing the axe
feel no pain from my falling limb
the shackles of life slowly go free
with each drop of my blood i spill

Death... ?

she came to me in the beauty of twilight that fateful day,
clad in but the silken black gown i had once dreamt about,
shy, hiding herself, so beautiful, the perfect angel, my rescuer,
upon my asking, her name starts with "d", she told me.

with gentle fingers she caressed me, she took my breath away,
her lips touched mine, and i knew i wanted to rest forever,
in her arms, enjoying the kiss of death, so tasty and sweet,
it was the panacea i needed, this boon she bestowed me.

she took my hand, her seducing sweet voice beckoned me,
her hazel-green eyes tempting me to stare into the space inside,
i wanted nothing more than to lie on her soft supple chest,
and forget myself, give her my heart, my body, my soul.

i sighed as she took me in and gave me what i craved for,
the completion of an act i would have given my everything for,
so serene, so powerful, so freeing, my first and last time,
now no memory remains, no hurt, no guilt, no fear, no qualm.

and so it is, i have given myself to her, heart, body and soul,
she owns me now, that angel perfect, that beauty unmatched,
no senses do i know now, no emotions or duties do i feel,
she still won't tell me her name, but i know now that she is called "d..."

i went to a class on vedanta today... had a few thoughts to put down, but i would like to collect my thoughts before doing so. however, just to make a few notes:

pramaana : that which is the cause for "the transaction of" perception

pramaana are of six types:
- pratyaksha : direct perception
- anumaana : inference with due caution
- upamaana : understanding by comparison
- anupulabdhihi : knowledge that a particular object is not present
- arthapatthi : necessary supposition of an unperceived act demanding an explanation; assuming or supposing what you've been told is the truth, and giving benefit of doubt until that supposition is proved true.

- shabda : words of an intimate or trustworthy person, words of men of wisdom.

the pramaana is the source of all knowledge. the first five are the sources that inform you about the anaatma, i.e, everything that is not you. the sixth is the only force that can tell you about the aatma, i.e, you.